Sunday, February 13, 2011

Purposeful Parenting

I had an opportunity to take my family to the Great Wolf Lodge in Mason, OH.  It's an expensive weekend, but we had family give us money as a gift and my wife, whose spiritual gift if discount shopping, found a discount package on-line.  We had a blast!

If you don't know what the GWL is, it's an indoor waterpark resort.  They have restaurants, a spa, pool side bars, an arcade, etc. It's all available for an outrageous price.  But if you're like us, you take your own food and try not to spend a dime while you're there. 

In the water park, there are places that each family member will like.  Slow floating down a canal, high speeding up a roller coaster, and everything in between.  As we walked from section to section it struck me how many people were sitting on the pool side chairs, lounging, reading, drinking beer and such.  They were adults without any kids.

Or were they?

Further observation lead me to realize that they did in fact have children in the park...but the kids were playing by themselves.

How odd...

It never occurred to me to sit on the sidelines while the kids have fun.  I kept wondering what their kids would remember when they got older.  Would the kids remember a weekend away where they entertained themselves?  Would they remember a mom and/or dad who was present, but not engaged in the vacation?  In either case, what you have is two separate individuals entertaining themselves separately.  In many cases that I watched, the only interaction between parent and child was when the kids came up to "shore" to eat.  That was it.

As I thought about my own kids, screaming, splashing, laughing, and having the time of their lives, I knew right then that I would not be a sideline parent.  I made it my personal goal to ride every ride, swim in every pool, float in every canal, and do all of these with someone at my side.  And I did.  And then passed out after putting the kids to bed that night.

I think we've built into our culture the perceived need of having "me" time.  I'm sure you've heard that term, and maybe even used it.  But what is "me" time?  Is there a time when we should care for our needs to the exclusion of others?  Oh, I know (believe me, I know) you need some quiet time to yourself.  I know you need to relax every now and again.  I'm the same way.  Yet as I journey down this path of parenthood, I realize that if I am not purposeful in my parenting my children will be out of the house before I can blink.  Then it will be too late.

I have no idea who you are or what your circumstances are, but I know that you can be purposeful parent.  I know that you make choices that will impact your children in a positive way.  Don't just sit on the sidelines and let other people guide your children.  Don't be content to let your children experience life without you.  Purpose now that you will live life with them, not in spite of them. 

Make a plan.  If you haven't already done so, sit down and find the time in your schedule that can devote to engaging your children.  Find their interests and get them involved.  Give them opportunity to experience those things you want them to experience...just do it with them. 

Your time with your children it like the morning mist.  Soon it will be gone.  What can you do to let them know they are loved?

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