Be A Man

As many of my readers know, I am a proponent of manhood. Yes, some may call that sexist but it's not. I do not promote manhood against womanhood. It is merely a celebration of being a man. I've been giving some thought on the topic now that the weather in the Midwest states begins to feel very autumn-ish. As always happens this time of year I get ready to walk out the door and I am put into a quandary. To wear or jacket or not to wear a jacket. That is the question. As I am typically a hot blooded sort of man I don't like to wear a jacket until it's good and cold. However, when it raining hard I generally use a windbreaker. That's just how I roll.

What is amazing to me is that every time I wear a jacket or a coat, almost without exception, someone will question my manhood. "Are you serious? Do you really need a jacket? It's not even cold out here!". Or "I don't wear a coat until it gets below freezing!".

Every single time.

Men need tests of manhood in their lives. Say what you will but it's embedded deep within our psyche. We must prove we are men. I don't think that's all bad. Every society must choose for themselves what the test will be.

Ours is apparently whether or not you wear a jacket.

Seriously it is pathetic what we in America do to prove we are men. If you scratch yourself and drink beer you must be a man. If you curse and disrespect authority you must be a man. If you gain power and image you must be a man.

It was not always the case. In America we had fine men who knew what it was to be both strong and kind. They knew how to act in the field and display manners at the table. Today we are in desperate need of modern examples of manliness. Real men who are not defined by societal influence but are rather driven to do that which is right. If you'll indulge me, I'll provide a few examples.

Example 1: My Grandpa
My Dad's dad was a true man. He was part of the last great generation. He served in the second world war and afterward moved to Detroit. He wanted to work in the automotive industry but became an educator in the public school system. He even wore a pocket protector. What made him a man, though, was his commitment. He was a loving husband to two wives (one died at a young age) and fathered three children. He could fix anything that broke. He was a master with wood and genius with mechanics. If you had a problem with your car, he'd come over for a visit in his trademark dress slack (yes....slacks is a good description) and short sleeved button down shirt and climb right under your car to start working. Yet he was, in my mind, refined. He was an antique dealer and his table manners were impeccable. The truth is, he was a nerd before being a nerd was cool. He was committed to seeing his family taken care of. He was committed to serving God in church. He was committed to helping others. He was committed to doing what was right even when there were easier ways.

Example 2: Harold
My friend, Harold, is father to 9 children. That was not a typo. He has structured his life, both professionally and personally, in a way that allows him to give of himself to his wife and children. He has had a series of successful businesses (construction based) in which he actively involves his sons. He considers his wife's needs and desires in his decision making and actively communicates his love for her. He puts a strong emphasis on loving God and serving others. Selfless is the word that comes to mind. And the results? I've never met a finer bunch of kids in my life.

Example 3: Chuck Norris
No, this is not a joke. I've spent some time learning about Chuck. I've been a martial arts fan my whole life. Although the Chuck Facts may be humorous (some are not) they do not in any way truly measure this man. Despite what you may think of him politically you cannot deny that Chuck is in every way a gentleman. He is passionate about God and country. He loves his wife and children. He uses his ample resources to help others, including under-privileged children who receive martial arts classes that emphasize self worth and good citizenship...all for free. His dedication to serving God in more recent years has been evident in his life and his writings. Plus, his roundhouse kick totally rocks.

The truth is that manhood, real manhood, is not about brute strength and Neanderthal-like thinking. It's not about power and prestige. It's not about money. Its not even about wearing a jacket. Its about commitment, honesty, integrity and love. It's about a selfless devotion to God. It's about strength of character.

True manhood is about living to serve.

As I thought of this post I found it difficult to identify modern examples of real men.

How about you? Who are your examples of real men?

Announcing the Farm CFO

The chickens are finally here.  Well, they actually arrived last Thursday.  I’ve been very busy and so have neglected my blogging duties.  Oddly enough, I haven’t been busy at all with chickens.

 

My good friend Mark is caring for the day to day needs of the chickens this year.  He was hired in to Legacy Family Farm as the CFO (Chief Feed Operator).  Mark and his brother, Josh, have been voluntarily helping out with chickens for the last two years.  Because I do not have land on which to raise livestock, they are able to be there when the need arises.  They do an awesome job too! 

Thanks!!!

The New Brooder

Tis the season…for chicken preparations.  I’ll let you in on a little secret.  I have a serious problem.  It’s a problem that developed at an early age.  As I grew older, it seemed to take a bigger hold on me.  I tried to fight it, but it almost always wins.  As a grown man, I find that it’s an even bigger problem than before.

The problem?

I’m stubborn.

Two years ago when I first started raising chickens I had an emergency.  You can read about it here.  I found a brooder design online.  It was simple and effective.  So last year I used the same design.   But this time I needed a lid on top.  I built it.  It worked.  But it was ugly.  I don’t just mean that it looked ugly (which it did) but it was a little awkward to use.  I had a good plan, but I lack the technical skills to pull that sort of thing off.  I’m a very big picture, good enough sort of person.  I very much appreciate fine workmanship.  I just do not have the skill or patience to be a master craftsman.  

Now enter the community.  See, in a community, there are people of all sorts.  There are craftsman and non-craftsman alike.  Some like to work with numbers while some like to work with words.  Some like to sing and some like to dance.  In this case, some like to build and some like to raise chickens.

Last year, as I set out to build the brooder, I knew I could do it.  I bought the materials and built it myself.  It took me several hours across several days to make it workable.  And, as I already said, it was ugly.  But this year was different.  I set aside my stubborn pride and shared a desire for a newly designed brooder with some friends.  I would purchase the supplies and even contribute a good amount of sweat.  But I needed help with the design.

A friend told a friend.  That’s the way things work in a community.  I received a call this past week.  Someone had an excess of building supplies that they needed to get rid of.  My friend and I rode over there and we drove back to his house with a truck full of material.  In fact, we had all the material necessary to make a brooder.  It cost me nothing.

The next day, while I was at work, my friend then called up my two oldest sons.  They hopped on their bikes and went down to his house.  An afternoon later the three of them had built the brooder.  I stopped by after work to find a brand new, expertly designed, chicken brooder.  And I didn’t sweat at all.

And it is not ugly.

When the time comes, these friends will get their chickens free of charge.  The skill and material they provided is so much appreciated that I can’t help but reward them with something that I can do with my own hands.

My point is to say that we all don’t have to be good at everything.  My guess is that you are good at something, even if it’s remedial.  So share you gift, and let others share their gifts with you.  This is how community is built.  This is what God has called you to do.  Listen, I’m not a great example of this, but I’m willing to learn.  How about you?

P.S. The friend who built the brooder also built the chicken plucker.  

Supermoon

I was standing on a dock off of Lake Eerie watching the Super Perigee Moon rise in the East. The wind was strong tonight. It's always strongest near the lake, but tonight it was unusually strong. And it was cold. Though I was wrapped in my thickest coat, it still tore through me like I was a straw man. I looked away from the moon into the darkness of a small island off the coast. With the wind and cold and dark, it appeared a very hard and desolate place.  I loved it.

Something in that desolation calls. It cries out to be conquered. It whispers to me that we too are a dark and desolate people. Yet Someone calls to us. Someone longs to conquer that stark wilderness of our soul; to bring life to an otherwise lifeless island.

I was pleased to see so many people out to watch the moon. No matter how advanced we get in our “civilized” world, we cannot run from the fact that God's nature is so powerful, so riveting.  We cannot pull ourselves away. Just as the dark island calls to me, so we are called by God through His nature. And as He calls we cannot help but see that He is there...even if we don't choose to respond.

Working Out - Daddy Style

I try to work out.  I really do.  I’ve tried to stay on a schedule, but, well, that seems fruitless.  So I squeeze it in when I can.  Here is a recent episode.

Day:

Saturday.  It’s my day off, so hey, plenty of time, right?

Scene:

Prepping for dinner.  My wife and I are doing dinner alone so I’m heating up food for the kids.  I decide I’ll throw on some shorts, put on a Billy Blanks workout video, and work out while the foods heating up.

Act 1:

Dad gets on his “workout clothes” (i.e. a pair of shorts).  The two year old, realizing what is going on, gets his dress shoes out.  He stutters.  “Daddy, I-I-I-I-I-I got my workout shoos.  Can you-you-you-you-you put them on.”

Daddy puts on shoes.

The nine year old, hearing of the coming events, comes out of his room in a pair of swim shorts…and that’s it. The two year old, somehow feeling like he’s going to be left out, strips off his shirt.  “Daddy, can you-you-you-you-you take off my shoos.  I-I-I-I-I-I-I need to get on my swim short.”  Daddy assures the two year old that he can just workout like this without a problem.

The nine year old disappears for some reason and reappears fully dressed.  Umm.....

The seven year old lays on the floor in the middle of the living room (a.k.a the workout area) facing the screen and ready to watch the show.  Daddy, attempting to remain calm, explains that the seven year old needs to move before I kick him out of the way bodily injury occurs. 

The video does not want to start.  Despite the fact that it’s worked hundreds of times (or maybe twice) before this.  Minor technical difficulty.  Daddy fixes.

Finally the video begins. 

The five and seven year old attempt to point out people in the video that they “like”.  Daddy, attempting to remain calm keeps pushing gently moving them out of the way.

30 minutes, and 5 “pauses” into the video, a fight breaks out at the dinner table. 

Thus ends Act 1....along with the entire workout.

Purposeful Parenting

I had an opportunity to take my family to the Great Wolf Lodge in Mason, OH.  It's an expensive weekend, but we had family give us money as a gift and my wife, whose spiritual gift if discount shopping, found a discount package on-line.  We had a blast!

If you don't know what the GWL is, it's an indoor waterpark resort.  They have restaurants, a spa, pool side bars, an arcade, etc. It's all available for an outrageous price.  But if you're like us, you take your own food and try not to spend a dime while you're there. 

In the water park, there are places that each family member will like.  Slow floating down a canal, high speeding up a roller coaster, and everything in between.  As we walked from section to section it struck me how many people were sitting on the pool side chairs, lounging, reading, drinking beer and such.  They were adults without any kids.

Or were they?

Further observation lead me to realize that they did in fact have children in the park...but the kids were playing by themselves.

How odd...

It never occurred to me to sit on the sidelines while the kids have fun.  I kept wondering what their kids would remember when they got older.  Would the kids remember a weekend away where they entertained themselves?  Would they remember a mom and/or dad who was present, but not engaged in the vacation?  In either case, what you have is two separate individuals entertaining themselves separately.  In many cases that I watched, the only interaction between parent and child was when the kids came up to "shore" to eat.  That was it.

As I thought about my own kids, screaming, splashing, laughing, and having the time of their lives, I knew right then that I would not be a sideline parent.  I made it my personal goal to ride every ride, swim in every pool, float in every canal, and do all of these with someone at my side.  And I did.  And then passed out after putting the kids to bed that night.

I think we've built into our culture the perceived need of having "me" time.  I'm sure you've heard that term, and maybe even used it.  But what is "me" time?  Is there a time when we should care for our needs to the exclusion of others?  Oh, I know (believe me, I know) you need some quiet time to yourself.  I know you need to relax every now and again.  I'm the same way.  Yet as I journey down this path of parenthood, I realize that if I am not purposeful in my parenting my children will be out of the house before I can blink.  Then it will be too late.

I have no idea who you are or what your circumstances are, but I know that you can be purposeful parent.  I know that you make choices that will impact your children in a positive way.  Don't just sit on the sidelines and let other people guide your children.  Don't be content to let your children experience life without you.  Purpose now that you will live life with them, not in spite of them. 

Make a plan.  If you haven't already done so, sit down and find the time in your schedule that can devote to engaging your children.  Find their interests and get them involved.  Give them opportunity to experience those things you want them to experience...just do it with them. 

Your time with your children it like the morning mist.  Soon it will be gone.  What can you do to let them know they are loved?