Be A Man

As many of my readers know, I am a proponent of manhood. Yes, some may call that sexist but it's not. I do not promote manhood against womanhood. It is merely a celebration of being a man. I've been giving some thought on the topic now that the weather in the Midwest states begins to feel very autumn-ish. As always happens this time of year I get ready to walk out the door and I am put into a quandary. To wear or jacket or not to wear a jacket. That is the question. As I am typically a hot blooded sort of man I don't like to wear a jacket until it's good and cold. However, when it raining hard I generally use a windbreaker. That's just how I roll.

What is amazing to me is that every time I wear a jacket or a coat, almost without exception, someone will question my manhood. "Are you serious? Do you really need a jacket? It's not even cold out here!". Or "I don't wear a coat until it gets below freezing!".

Every single time.

Men need tests of manhood in their lives. Say what you will but it's embedded deep within our psyche. We must prove we are men. I don't think that's all bad. Every society must choose for themselves what the test will be.

Ours is apparently whether or not you wear a jacket.

Seriously it is pathetic what we in America do to prove we are men. If you scratch yourself and drink beer you must be a man. If you curse and disrespect authority you must be a man. If you gain power and image you must be a man.

It was not always the case. In America we had fine men who knew what it was to be both strong and kind. They knew how to act in the field and display manners at the table. Today we are in desperate need of modern examples of manliness. Real men who are not defined by societal influence but are rather driven to do that which is right. If you'll indulge me, I'll provide a few examples.

Example 1: My Grandpa
My Dad's dad was a true man. He was part of the last great generation. He served in the second world war and afterward moved to Detroit. He wanted to work in the automotive industry but became an educator in the public school system. He even wore a pocket protector. What made him a man, though, was his commitment. He was a loving husband to two wives (one died at a young age) and fathered three children. He could fix anything that broke. He was a master with wood and genius with mechanics. If you had a problem with your car, he'd come over for a visit in his trademark dress slack (yes....slacks is a good description) and short sleeved button down shirt and climb right under your car to start working. Yet he was, in my mind, refined. He was an antique dealer and his table manners were impeccable. The truth is, he was a nerd before being a nerd was cool. He was committed to seeing his family taken care of. He was committed to serving God in church. He was committed to helping others. He was committed to doing what was right even when there were easier ways.

Example 2: Harold
My friend, Harold, is father to 9 children. That was not a typo. He has structured his life, both professionally and personally, in a way that allows him to give of himself to his wife and children. He has had a series of successful businesses (construction based) in which he actively involves his sons. He considers his wife's needs and desires in his decision making and actively communicates his love for her. He puts a strong emphasis on loving God and serving others. Selfless is the word that comes to mind. And the results? I've never met a finer bunch of kids in my life.

Example 3: Chuck Norris
No, this is not a joke. I've spent some time learning about Chuck. I've been a martial arts fan my whole life. Although the Chuck Facts may be humorous (some are not) they do not in any way truly measure this man. Despite what you may think of him politically you cannot deny that Chuck is in every way a gentleman. He is passionate about God and country. He loves his wife and children. He uses his ample resources to help others, including under-privileged children who receive martial arts classes that emphasize self worth and good citizenship...all for free. His dedication to serving God in more recent years has been evident in his life and his writings. Plus, his roundhouse kick totally rocks.

The truth is that manhood, real manhood, is not about brute strength and Neanderthal-like thinking. It's not about power and prestige. It's not about money. Its not even about wearing a jacket. Its about commitment, honesty, integrity and love. It's about a selfless devotion to God. It's about strength of character.

True manhood is about living to serve.

As I thought of this post I found it difficult to identify modern examples of real men.

How about you? Who are your examples of real men?

Shackled by Must

I went to the Greenfield Village again over the Memorial Day holiday.  It was the Civil War Remembrance weekend.  I can't miss that!  As usual I got lost in thought and a yearning to finally understand simplicity.  This might be the real reason I like to go to Greenfield Village.  Maybe I really just like to get lost in the pre industrial age ponderings. 

As I was watching the re-enactors cooking their dinners over an open fire in the spring rain, I thought again that I am a man born out of time.  My joy would overflow if only I lived in a simpler time.  Yet as I allow that train of thought to take shape, I realize that being born into another time period would not give me the opportunity to appreciate that period.  Knowing me, no matter what period I was born into I would likely be looking to a time before that and longing for an even simpler way of life.

In fact, I realized that simple living starts with simple thinking.  It starts with a determination, a will, to live more simply.

But that's not so simple.

Here is the scene.  A man is rekindling a now damp fire in the rain.  His wife is stirring the pot and wiping the rain from her face with her apron.  Now, for just a moment forget about the fact that they are wearing civil war era clothing.  What are they doing that I could not do?  Notice I say "could" because, in fact, I would not stand in the rain....but I could.  And yet standing in the rain and cooking over an open fire, as much as it appeals to me, is in itself not simple living. 

Still, as I looked at the scene I have just described, I think it does point to something that feels a bit simpler.  The couple standing at the fire has given up a need to control their environment.  They have ceased dwell on the inclement weather.  Instead they have chosen to embrace the uncontrollable.  I wonder how often my complicated life has become complicated because I am trying to maintain control of everything.  It gets hot and humid so I retreat into the air conditioning, therefore I must have central air.  My stomach growls and I instantly reach for a snack therefore I must always have a snack close at hand.  I seek to be as comfortable as possible therefore I must maintain a good job and a high standard of living.  And with each "must" I shackle myself with complexity.

I know the scripture calls us to take dominion over the whole earth, to provide for our families, and God promises to meet our needs.  Still, I wonder what would happen if I made a list of "must's" and started letting go.  Maybe I'd begin to learn what real needs look like...and maybe life would be a little simpler.

Cheaper by the 1/2 Dozen

It's official!  Sometime in May we're expecting another little Rough Rider on our homestead!  For those who are keeping count, that'll be a 1/2 dozen young'uns running around our little 900+ square foot home.

I know not everyone will have large families like us.  I wouldn't expect that.  God blesses as He chooses.  Some He blesses with children.  Others get blessed in other ways.  He calls each family to a certain role.  For us, we've been called to raise a large family.  How large?  Your guess is as good as mine.

It's been interesting to hear some of the conversations, and see the reactions, to a family our size.  When we had three, people were amazed at our "large" family.  When we had four, they gasped in shock and awe.  When we had five, some were disgusted.  With six on the way, I can assure you of some of the things we'll hear.

You'd better have a good job to support all these kids.

You can't give enough love to each child when there are so many.

The older children do nothing but act as small parents their whole lives.

I sure am glad it's not me.

Don't you know what causes that?

There are, of course, many more.  I'm sure a few came to your head.  You can't help it.  The stereotypes are handed to us in so many ways and most of them are subtle.  When was the last time you heard a song where the singer referenced more than two children (occasionally three)?  When was the last time you watched a serious drama that had more than a boy and girl?  Ever look at a tax form?  There will be four lines for your dependents.

If you have less than three children, or none at all, I will not look down on you or question your reasons.  You are to fulfill God's calling on your life whatever that may be.  But why is it that everyone assumes you should have a small family?  I think there are many reasons that play into that assumption.

As for my family, the bottom line is this: This is what we've been called to do and this we will do.

But, just for kicks, let's address this perceived problem.  What if it is somehow wrong that I have such a big family.  What do I do now?  Which one do I get rid of?

They're all so unique, and, in their own way, so integral to the family unit. I have to ask myself some questions.  Questions like how do you function without your first born who nurses his mother, of his own free will, when she's struggling with "morning sickness"?  He brings her food and drink, books, and anything else she may want.  And who will handle all the detailed chores that no one likes if the second born isn't here?  He can fold the laundry just as good as his mother and he comes up with creative solutions to problems.  But the third born, he likes the rough and tumble tasks that challenge him physically.  He likes to run in and give his mother hugs and kisses and let her know she'll be okay and then run out again once he's sure of her love.  Then what of the fourth born and only daughter?  Who will add that softness that only a daughter can possess?  And where would we be without the fifth, the 2 year old, who is ready with a smile all day long.

It's no easy thing.  Having all these people in one house brings its own set of challenges.  But its funny...I can't think of a single one I'd get rid of.

That's a Wrap

Whew!

We finally finished raising and processing all 213 chickens.  What a summer!

I was standing in the field last Saturday in the early morning hours.  My sons and I were preparing for the day.  The sun was just coming up and the chill of the night was still in the air. I thought about the people who were coming out to help.

I thought about how they always come out to help.

I was tired and ready to be done with chicken processing days.  They are long, messy, and tiring.  I thought about the helpers.  How tired of chicken processing days must they be?  They show up on the days they are able.  They work hard and without complaint.  When they are finished they are rewarded with little to nothing.

And still they come.  Why?

They come because of the love they have in their hearts.  For me and my family, yes, but more importantly because they love God and His people.  That's what Biblical community is all about.  It's about sacrificing your time and resource for your brother or sister...even if they are crazy enough to process chickens.

At that moment, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  Maybe overwhelmed is not the right word.  Maybe humbled is better.  Yes, I think that says it better.  Humbled because I realized anew that I didn't deserve friends like these.  I didn't deserve the blessing of living in the family of God.  Yet I was blessed.  I am blessed.  How could life get any better?

Thank you to all who are supporting this little enterprise.  I appreciate the encouragement and enthusiasm you give toward the service we are providing.  It's been exciting watching as people's faces light up when they realize what we're doing.  Whether you are supporting clean and healthy meat, a local business, a strange new business venture, or all of the above, we thank you.  I'll still be posting updates on our Turkey experiment so stay tuned.  I have a feeling that Turkey processing day will be an adventure!

One Batch Down

We finished processing the first batch of chickens this past Saturday.  And what a day it was!  We arrived at the farm (my friends homestead) at 6:30 a.m. to set up.  From there it was a whirlwind of a day.  65 chickens were plucked, processed, and bagged.  I'd go into more detail....well, maybe not.

Several friends showed up to help and all were veteran chicken processors from last year.  What a wonderful thing it is to have strong relationships.  Only one person was specifically asked to come and help, yet several showed up, some unexpectedly, simply to show their support and love.  That's what we hope our little farming venture does; we hope it leaves a legacy of Biblical community through agriculture.

There were some who managed to escape the camera, but they were a very real part of the experience.  And I promise that after 12 hours it was not all smiles.  I thank you all for your help.

This year, we used something new.  It's a chicken plucker fabricated by a good friend.  The design came from a man named Herrick Kimble.  You can read more about him here.  The parts came from all over.  Some new and some not so new.  It worked pretty good, but needs a couple of tweaks before our next processing day.  It plucked them clean...which is more than I can say for the few I hand plucked!

The biggest question I get asked is "What will they look like when I come to pick them up?"  For our area, that's a valid question.  This is so new to most of us.  When you come to pick them up you'll find that they have no head or feet.  They will be plucked clean. All of the insides are taken out.  Then we bag 'em and tag 'em.  In the end they get weighed so you know what you'll pay.  It's that simple.

Here is a picture of a bagged chicken.  This one's been frozen, but it gives you an idea of what it looks like.

We don't quarter them or de-bone them...that would take a lot of time.  For a good tutorial on quartering chickens, look to your favorite chef.  Most of them have a section in their cookbooks on how to butcher a chicken.  I think it's a lost art.

So many people came out.  Some were customers and some just came to check out the action.  All of them left as customers.  It was exciting to watch it all happen.  Thanks to those who bought and those who helped.  We couldn't have done it without you!

Anxious

I know a little something about nervous breakdowns.  It's been a common thread in my family for generations.  It seems to stem from anxiety disorders and depression.  As I talk to people, in an out of my family, I'm shocked at the numbers.  Its incredible how many people have been to the doctor and are on some sort of anti-depressant.  The story tends to go something like this:

•    Really struggling emotionally
•    Went to the Doctor
•    Got some medication
•    Still struggling, but not as much

I've been on the meds too.  I know how it goes.  My dosages had to be increased pretty dramatically because it didn't seem to help.  In fact, I thought it was getting worse. 

I read up a lot on the subject and had some very dear friends who encouraged me.  I started working toward healing...in my own way. 

Now, I need to say this.  If you're struggling and on meds, I am not saying to get off the meds.  That's something between you, God, and your doctor.  Also, because you're on meds, it's probably wise to make sure you include spouses, friends, and family is the decisions.  I also need to point out that I am not suggesting that every person on meds is wrong.  Not so.  Some people needs meds to control their blood pressure, some to control their emotions.  I hope I'm clear on that.

What I found was that there were some basic things that I needed to do in order control my emotions.  First one....stop drinking caffeine.  I quit caffeine for many years and now only drink it in moderation.  I couldn't believe the difference it made.  But I still needed more.

I stopped watching television.  In part because during this time I was too broke to buy one (that made that decision easy!).  But what a difference it made.  I find that now, if I start watching it for any length of time I tend to start getting anxious and afraid.  Sometimes just really down.

I stopped gaming.  I was never a hard-core gamer, but I stopped playing games as a rule.  I was waking up with nightmares at night; sweating, shaking, the whole bit.  I was aggressive.  When I stopped, I calmed down.  The nightmares got better....much better.

I started forcing myself into quiet time.  I turned my radio off when going to work.  Left the job during lunch and just sat at a park, read, or wrote.  I sometimes just sat in my car and was quiet.  I tried to let God speak to me….in His own quiet way.  I started asking God what He wanted from me.
One thing you won't typically find from me is a formula for success.  Things that work for you don't work for me.  I understand that.  But I believe there is a theme in all this; simplicity.

When you read about people in the past, you don't see nearly the evidence of anxiety and depression that you see today.  Now, so I don't get accused of waxing nostalgic and looking for a Golden Era, the statistics show higher incidents of anxiety and depression in the last decade than ever before, especially among the teenage crowd.  Yet what I hear time and time again from people is that they went to the doctor and got meds. 

That's just not enough. 

I think if people are helped to simplify their minds and their lives they find much peace.  Even among Christians it's amazing how many cannot find peace.  Yet wasn't it Jesus who offers us an easy yoke and a light burden?  Joy over-flowing? 

Too many times we look to a cure instead of to a change.  I sat down for lunch one day with a work associate.  We sat down and he took a pill.  He explained that his cholesterol was high and he was taking meds.  He didn't know why it was so high.  Then he ordered a Philly steak and cheese...extra cheese.

While I don't doubt that his high blood pressure was inherited, I have to believe he wasn't helping by ordering the Philly steak and cheese.  I's funny how almost all solutions today end with a pill, or a quick fix, and not with change.  It's like the recent meeting in Copenhagen.  Fossil fuel emissions are polluting the environment at an alarming rate causing many to speculate on Global Warming.  They talked about curbing emissions ($), nuclear energy ($), alternative energies ($), and installing technology to block the suns rays ($$$).  Yet I don't hear too many people at that level talking about driving less, walking more, or riding our bikes.  That's out of the question.  They need to use money to drive solutions that don't require a change to our day to day lives.  We like it that way.

But what if we did look for change?

What if we changed our own lives?  What if we did try to simplify and go back to an older way of living?  How would that impact our health?

No, I don't advocate throwing the baby out with the bathwater and getting rid of all advancement.  But would it be so wrong to look at what I'm doing today and asking how I could simplify?  You will likely find that the things that affect you the most are not the same as mine.  That’s okay.  The question is about what will work for you.

What will you change?

Haitians

I remember where I was when the 911 disaster occurred.  I remember watching it on television.  I remember the feeling of horror at the loss of lives and the fear at what was to come.  I remember most the generosity of the people in contributing to the welfare of those involved.  It came in the form of money, supplies, labor, equipment, and prayers.  It was inspiring and humbling in the same moment.  I think it was then that I began to realize the power of the internet. 

Sites were not as sophisticated then and the idea of "social networking" sites had not yet become a central force in the American digital culture.  Yet it seemed with every page refresh, every site link, every virtual venue explored there was opportunity to give.  We saw it again when Katrina struck and when the Philipines was ravaged by the tidal wave.  We saw that the opportunities to give were plentiful; and all thanks to technology. 

I'm glad we're able, now, to help the Hatians.  I have not yet seen an estimate on how much we're giving, but I would suspect it will be huge.  That's wonderful.

Yet in the midst of the devastation and the pain, I can't help but wonder where the relief is for those Americans who live lives of poverty and destitution every day.  We have, on our own soil, men, women, and children plodding through an existence of hunger, thirst, poor health, and untold dangers every single day.  Yet we are not scraping together the funds necessary to help them just live a decent life. 

Why?

While I do not regret the money given to those in need during a crisis, I often think how much better off our own homeless and suffering population would be if only they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.  If they were part of a globally watched tragedy at least then they would receive medical attention, food, water, and clothing.  Are these basic needs really so much to ask? 

No, I don't want to take those things away from the Haitians.  They have been through an experience that I can't even really imagine.  They are broken and in need of healing.  We can be that balm to them.  But when the dust settles and we have done what we can to care for the Haitians, perhaps we can turn our hearts to those who are suffering through devastation right in our own backyard.

Freedom

Wow...big topic.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure that any blog post about freedom will come up short, but it's been on my mind the last couple of days.  Most of those who know me will hear me enter into a rant about the pains of "big government" in America.  That's why they avoid me in the halls.  Now, to be clear, I'm not an anarchist.  I don't think anarchy has done anyone any good and I do not see it as a Biblical model.  The early church set up overseers and servants to help govern the people.  But a common thread in the New Testament is clearly the concept of servant leadership, that is, a leader is nothing more than a servant of the people.  I think, in general, this was the type of government our forefathers had in mind as they drafted a government of overseers bound to a series of check and balances which involved the scrutiny of the people.  That thought leaves me to say "hmmmm....What happened?"

My thinking (such as it is) goes directly to personal rights.  We love them; we cherish them, I think we'd marry them if we could.  Even when our personal rights conflict with stated rules, opinions, or another person's personal rights, we expect our right to be met.  But whatever happened to serving the people?

Here's an example:  Let's say a university has a rule about living in the dorms and what criteria is necessary to live in the dorms.  A man for some reason cannot meet the rules and is therefore denied access to the dorms.  Yet he sues and wins the right to live in the dorm.

I know....hot button here...what if the person was disabled, had a dependecy, was in a unique situation, or just plain wanted to be cool.  Well, there are questions there, but look at it from another side.  A rule was clearly stated.  A man was unable to meet that rule.  So he sues (or somebody sues...the details are irrelevant to the example) and gains access.  Where would something like that end?  Should I be allowed to use the womens bathroom since I physically cannot become a women?  Is it not my right to use the womens bathroom? 

I fully realize atrocities have occurred where people who could not defend themselves have required assistance or intervention.  Yet that line continues to blur.  As each of us expects that our own personal rights must not be violated, we in turn know no boundaries.  Instead we break the rules as we ride upon the wave of our own self-justification.  But this is not freedom.  Freedom in not unbridled access to all things.  Rather, freedom speaks to us of release from slavery in all forms.  Freedom is about choice and that choice includes laying down my personal rights so that an order, a balance, can be brought about.  I seek not to enslave others to my personal rights by laying those rights down. 

If this understanding of freedom was universally held, we would ask questions like "How will my actions affect others?", "Will my actions hurt a person or institution?, and "Am I serving my fellow man by my action?".  I do not suggest a perfect society will come from these questions, but I'll bet it'd be a great place to live!!

What do you think?