Crash Into Me

I’ve been so busy lately. It’s something that I’ve tried for years to avoid.

Some of you just read that I’m lazy and have avoided work for years.  Let me clarify.

I do not like being busy for the sake of busyness.  When a building is on fire and the Fire Department shows up, they get busy and they stay busy.  Their busyness has a reason.  Their busyness fulfills a need.  A young person finds joy in going to the mall and stays hour after hour declaring themselves “busy”.  Yet this type of busyness is busy simply for the joy of staying busy. 

I don’t do well with just staying “busy”.  I want my busyness to be useful.  I want it to have a lasting effect.  Even little tasks that build foundations that will last for years to come are significant. I’m just not always sure that what I’m doing has that sort of lasting effect.

It is my job that keeps me busy.  It’s consuming a lot of my time and energy.  Even while “relaxing” on the couch at home I find myself working on my email.  I do this because I don’t have time to do i tat work.  Ironic:  I have too much work to do at work.  Once upon a time I thought you went to work to do the work.  Who knew that work would one day take place in the electronic cloud? It begs the question why do I “go to” work anymore?

I digress.  As work demands more, I take it as a challenge and produce more.  The constantly hungry Goliath of business then demands even more work.  And so it goes.  Somehow I manage to come home,though later now.  I still interact with my family, but I’m worried about getting lost. The more I produce the more I am consumed with a) what I have already produced and b) how to produce more and produce it better.  It used to be much easier when I “went” to work and did the work there.  Even when I took my first management job I would come home and just hope my pager didn’t buzz.  As long as my pager remained silent, I stayed at home.  It was a clean break between work and home.   

Today the break is not so clean.

In fact, in reality there is no break.

The truth of the matter is that I don’t mind the work.  That is, I don’t mind the work load.  I don’t mind being called on to do big tasks.  But when I come home and look into the eyes of my children and realize that I have no idea what they did that day, I panic.  Will I one day be one of “those dad’s”?  When I am drifting off to sleep at night (aka passing out) and my wife says with a certain longing that she feels like she hasn’t talked to me in a long time, I sense a dull ache in my heart.  And when I shower in the morning and find myself focused intently on what will happen in the next few hours in the office, I remember a time when my quiet hours were spent in prayer and meditation.  Life now seems very much like a blur.  The days pass by so swiftly that I am shocked it is already February. Did I totally miss Christmas? 

My wife is a wonderful help to me, keeping me grounded in the reality of life.  Without her I am sure that I would grow lost and confused in an unforgiving world.  In her very insightful ways she keeps me heading in a good direction in terms of my relationships.  She shows me the path even when I start to lose my way.  Right now I’m relying on her more than ever because the real difficulty is losing sight of me…that is,the real me.

I started something new with 2012.  I’m not really one for resolutions, but it worked out this year to begin something new right at the beginning.  I began to put together a list of resolutions.   Now these were not your typical “need to lose weight in 2012” sort of resolutions.  I took a little different path.  These resolutions were designed to help me remember who I am.  They are things like Truthful, Christ Like, Honest, etc.  They started out to be a reflection of who I am, but it started to change.  The resolutions began to sound more like who I wanted to be, not really who I am.   I began to realize that it’s not really “me” I’m losing.  I’m actually losing control.

Don’t be scared.  I’m not dancing on a table or howling at the full moon like a dog.  At least not most days.  Just sometimes.

What I mean is that I’m losing control of an organized,departmentalized life.  Things move so fast that I don’t always have time to think about the right reaction.  When I realized this I understood that I am actually afraid of NOT doing or saying the right thing at the right time to the right people.  It was then that I realized that this might not be such a bad thing.  

Sometimes we work hard to keep the compartments of our lives from colliding with one another.  This can create a false persona.  So maybe it’s not a bad thing to watch as the compartments in my life head toward an intersection that will forevermore change the landscape I know as me.  In fact, I suspect it will be a time to “true up” who I am versus who I should be.  So I continue to work on my resolutions, not to reflect who I am, but rather to keep focused on who I want to be…who I should be.  And I watch for what is sure to be a painful and amazing collision of – me.

The Hygienic Quandary (Or the scent of man)

I’ve been in a bit of a hygienic quandary of late.  This happens to me from time to time.  I seem to be restless of mind.  The result is a constant need to try to improve something in my life.  That’s largely why I don’t put together a list of New Year’s resolutions.  I’m resolving something all year long.  This latest quandary is in regards to sweating and the use of antiperspirant.  Some of you may ask why, exactly, would I blog on this subject.  The answer if very simple.

My wife told me to.

As I discussed this quandary with her she indicated that the followers at The Simple Life might also share the same or similar quandaries.  And so it is with that encouragement I write about an odorous topic (you may want to stop now…the humor will not get any better).

I am what is known in the police forensics field as a secreter.  This means I sweat heavily.  It has been the bane of my very existence since I was about 12 years old.  Try being in Junior High and sweating more than most grown men working in a foundry.  I’ve tried most of the deodorant/antiperspirant products in the store.  For me, it’s Mitchum Gel all the way.  It’s long lasting and does a great job.  I’ve used it my entire adult life.  Thus begins the quandary.

My wife and I have been working for years to rid our lives of chemicals and preservatives.  While I believe that the total elimination of these things from a normal American person’s life is impossible, we can pick our battles and we can minimize the use of these things in our lives.  It is down this vein my mind tends to wander during my morning routine.  The dark green of the Mitchum container glares at me like a beacon reminding me that it is full of chemicals purported to be harmful to me…and I use it every day.

Now, it’s not like I haven’t tried.  I’ve tried several natural products to control sweating and odor.  Some work better than others.  Most tend to leave me smelling like a wet dog at the end of the day.  Still, I’m committed to finding something that will work.  I’ve read in several forums that many men who have asked themselves the same questions settle upon Old Spice deodorant .  It seems that Old Spice has less chemicals than most.  I’m going to have to check that out.  There are also recipes that you can use to make your own.  You can find some of those recipes here, here , and here . 

You may ask (because you are an inquisitive sort today) why I would worry about this anyway?  I think it’s part of the simple life.  We take it for granted that what we find on the shelf at the store is the best product and it’s safe.  Yet history tells us that what a company pushes on us is probably what is best for the company.  There is also a certain allure to doing it yourself.  Who knew that you could make your own deodorant?  We assume that people of a bygone era simply accepted sweaty, smelly men.  While that may be true, many early writings are preoccupied with a man who at least cleans himself up once a week.  For me, it’s important.  I work in an office.  A man who works in an office is not expected to sweat.  It’s also considered in poor taste to stink within the close confines of a meeting room.  So, since I have no excuse to sweat or stink, I’ll have to figure out what works.  I’ll keep you posted on my experimental findings.  Or you could just drop by the office…they’ll be able to tell you exactly how it’s going. 

Crop Diversity

I thought I'd pass on this very interesting article.  Remember the small family farm of yesteryear raised all the crops necessary to feed a family and then some.  Today our farms have been subsidized into a mono-crop corporate giant.  What are you doing to support crop diversity?


http://www.fastcoexist.com/1679067/as-farming-gets-more-efficient-we-need-it-to-do-the-opposite

In Search of Land

The winter time is a great time of reflection.  Once the poultry season begins in May, things get very busy.  Only this year, it may be different.  As I reflect on the coming year I'm at a loss for what may happen.  It's gray and distant from this vantage point.  I'm not scared though.  I've been here before.  Yet even though I may not be scared I must recognize that planning the rest of the year, at this point, is impossible. 

As you know, I have a whole passel of kids.  Right now we are a family of 7 wandering this wilderness together.  Come March we're looking at a becoming a family of 8 and right now we live in a 1,000 square foot house in the suburbs.

Yes, I double checked those numbers and there are no typos.

We're living in our starter home.  When we bought I didn't realize that we would be "starting" for the next 12 years.  But never one to move too fast, I've steadily paid down our mortgage.  My goal was to pay it down, collect some serious equity, and then put a big down payment on a bigger home.  Then the market crashed.  Like so many people I went under water for a while.  Fortunately I was in a position to get my head above water quickly.  That's primarily because I did have so much equity built up.  I also failed to mention that I never intended to raise livestock.  I always thought it would be very cool.  My grandpa raised livestock and I loved helping him, but it always seemed like a pipe dream to me; something to long for and never achieve.  That was my thinking until about 3 years ago.  It was then that God began to show me a life where our family would raise livestock.

My friend, of course, let me use his land and we began raising poultry.  It's been a great experience, but it's become very difficult to raise livestock at another farm.  Logistically it's challenging.  Each year I impose upon my friend and his family to help in the day to day care of the birds.  They never complain, and I think to some degree they even like it, but it can be a burden to care for several hundred critters at the time. 

And so I find myself searching for a house with a little bit of land in the country.

The vision I have is to set up a homestead with my family.  I'd like to have a home a bit bigger than the one we have now and seated on some acreage.  I'd like to grow a bigger garden than what we can today and plan to supply our table with as much of our homegrown fruits and vegetable as I can.  I'd like to begin raising chickens, turkeys, rabbits, and sheep.  Eventually I'd like to add cattle.  I'd like to do all of this with the hope of giving to my children experience in hard work, sustainable living, and running a business.  And then, I'd want to expand!

No, I'm talking about franchising or becoming a land baron.  Rather I have a vision to work with other local people in the pursuit of creating an agrarian network.  For instance, you might be shopping at your local farmers market.  You see a booth where they are selling seeds they have harvested from heirloom vegetables, and you ask about chicken.  The farmer let's you know that he can get chicken for you.  The next week at the market you see him again and he indeed has fresh pastured chicken for you.  What you don't know is that he doesn't raise chicken.  He got it from me.  But he's part of the "network".  He's your reliable farmer.  The people in the "network" trade and barter for fresh homemade/homegrown goods.  In this way no one person has to bear the burden of having lots of land and working in every facet of the farm.  Some may want to and I applaud them.  Many of us cannot.  But together we can create an agrarian community of producers and buyers alike, dedicated to preserving the past, feeding the present, and creating a sustainable future.  In short, live a simple life.

Peace on Earth?

Being a dyed in the wool idealist, I've had to wrestle with Christmas the last few years.  For writing a blog about simplicity I sure can make things complicated.  There are basically two sides of the Christmas coin that I've been focused one. 

Ideology One
Christmas is a an American tradition rooted in Christianity.

Ideology Two
Christmas is a pagan celebration and we ought to steer clear of it.

Some of my readers may not realize that both of those sides exist, but they do.  There are many other facets, of course, and I'm over simplifying for the sake of blogging.  My focus in this post is to look at this year and my peace with Christmas.

If I've learned anything over the past 2 years I've learned to rethink those ideologies I try so desperately to attach myself to.  I'm learning to read the Bible from the perspective of those who experienced it first hand.  I read a great blog post (click here for installment 1, installment 2, and installment 3).  It really highlighted the uncertainty of Joseph and Mary.  Here is Joseph, a seemingly kind and devoted man, who hears that his wife is pregnant.  She also tells him that the Child is a result of the immaculate conception.  It is God's Son.  Joseph's response?  He decides to put her away (hide her and end the betrothal) quietly.  I'm not sure if he really believed her or not. 

Or take David.  War hero.  Chosen of God.  Adulterer.  Failed parent.  I can't imagine that at the end of his life he was taking stock and saying "Obviously I will be known as a man after God's own heart."  He may have been just a tad bewildered as to how his life got so messed up.

And so it is today that I look over my life and question a lot of the decisions I've made over the years.  I wonder if I can really be "on track" with God.  He knows what I've done.  He knows who I am inside.  Even when I uphold the rules of christianity that I learned as a child (read your Bible, pray, don't drink, don't smoke) it is merely a veil to hide who I am on the inside.  Knowing that, can God really even find me acceptable in His sight?

Then I remember the birth of His Son.  Born to a doubting earthly father.  Brought into a world of utter darkness.  He lived among us.  He became one of us.  He did all of that so He could call me His brother.  It is then, and only then, that I realize that there is a whole bunch of grace that He has poured on me.  And that's the real story behind Christmas.

You already know it's not about the presents.  You already know it's not about the tree and Santa, cookies and egg nog.  It's not even really about family.  It's about Him and His birth.  It's about our relationship with Him and how that affects our relationship with others.

So with that said, I've made peace with Christmas.  I have good friends who don't celebrate the holiday, but they celebrate Jesus.  I have family who go all out for Christmas (think about the Griswolds), but they celebrate Jesus.  I can stand with both sets of people and respect them for the decisions they make and celebrate, with them, the birth of Christ.  I guess I've simply come to the place where it doesn't seem to matter how you "celebrate" the holiday.  It only matters that you celebrate Jesus.

As for me and my family, we have a tree in our house.  We play Christmas carols and sing loudly (especially at "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"...all 7 of us).  We don't have Santa stuff in our home and we don't go to see Santa.  Right now, as I type this, we are eagerly awaiting the unwrapping of gifts, visits to Grandmas house (before she gets run over), and more food than some third world countries see in a year.  And I'm happy.  I'm looking forward to celebrating Jesus,  my Brother, with my brothers and sisters.  I assume they've made their peace with Christmas.

What's your relationship with God like?  Now's a good time to talk with Him about it.

Of Texas and Texans

Recent travels have brought me into frequent contact with Texas and Texans. I've always loved the mystique surrounding the Lone Star State. As a boy I watched Westerns religiously and still do today. I've read the history of the Westward expansion and studied the history of raising cattle in America. Texas, of course, plays a significant role in all of those topics. But it is only recently that I have had so much exposure to the real Texas.

I've got to say...I'm impressed.

I like living in Michigan. Don't mis-understand. I like the weather (most of the time) and I love the lush woodlands, the marshes, and the Great Lakes. What strikes me about Texas, though, is the attitude. 

I was recently talking to some business associates. I made the suggestion that perhaps we utilize some government resources available to us. The room got quiet and the group squirmed in their seats. Finally someone tactfully spoke up and said "Well, I know what the owner of our company will say. He'll say 'I'll close this shop permanently before I'll let the government run my business.'"

I laughed heartily at that.

I think that very statement encapsulates what endears me to the people of Texas. How much better off we would be if the people of the United States thought (to use JFK's popular phrase) not of what their country could do for them, but of what they could do for their country. And how satisfying to think of a government that empowered its people to lead and not pay politicians to live a life of extravagance. Unfortunately our country is in a state of decline. I believe much of that decline is a direct result of a lack of accountability. It has become our expectation that someone else is responsible for taking care of us. Yet deep in the heart of Texas I find much of the opposite viewpoint.

Take their gun laws for instance.  The laws are much less restrictive than what we have in Michigan. In an informal poll I've been taking I have found that at least 75% of those I spoke to carry a fire arm. 75%!  Each one believed that it was not only his or her right to bear arms, it was their responsibility. In the minds of those I talked to it is their responsibility to care for themselves and those they love. I have watched videos shot in other states where the elderly were brutally beaten, by standers gawking at the scene, and not a hand raised to help the victim. I somehow cannot see that scene unfolding in a state where most folks carry firearms and aren't afraid to use them.

Our forefathers sought to create a county that was united in the Independence of their respective states.  Although in no way anarchists, they sought to limit the strength and over-arching dominance of a national government.  Sadly, today we beg for the intervention of the Federal Government.  If only we had listened to those who have gone before us.  Instead we have recreated the intrusive government entity that they fled from so many years to go.  Selfishly I look around and feel hemmed in.  Unlike the founding fathers I don't know where else to go.  Is there any undiscovered habitat in the world?    I'm fiercely proud of our American heritage and I am profoundly disappointed in what we are fast becoming. My heritage is comprised of European immigrants and Native Americans.  The need for freedom somehow flows in my blood.  The continued growth and dominance of a central government strikes fear in my heart.  Yet there is a glimmer of hope.  Texas has talked of seceding the union.  Hmmmm...there's something to think about.

Really, from the Austin music scene, the Dallas oil refineries, to the cattle ranches that dot the Texas landscape, the state has made a name for itself as being an example of "State's Rights" in the 21st century.  Heck, if they do end up seceding from the union, they may find the population grow by one family.

Oh, and by the way, did I mention that Chuck Norris lives somewhere near Houston?

Happy Thanksgiving

Make sure you set aside time today to dwell on all those things you are thankful for. Gods blessings are abundant and sometimes we overlook them. Use today as a time to remember. Give thanks to the giver of all good things. May He bless us all.